I’ve
never had a real desire to own or run a
restaurant, but if I did I think I could do a
better job of it than some of the places I’ve
managed to stumble into. Today, for example, I
was driving around with my wife and we decided
to try a place that we had stopped going to a
year ago, because the food and the service had
gotten really bad.
Since they were still
open, I’m thinking one of two things, either the
food and service has improved or maybe there
isn’t any accounting for taste and the place is
still the same as it was back then.
For those of you who are
new to the eating out game, let me give you a
few clues on what to look out for. Number one
clue that should set off a big red flag in your
mind is when the place is practically empty at
lunch. The second thing that should bother you
is when you are being taken to your table the
hostess tells you that she doesn’t seem to have
enough menus for the two of you and can you
share? The third thing to be wary of is when no
one comes back to your table to see if you want
something to eat. This is very important in a
restaurant. In fact this is probably the most
important thing to look for.
I’m looking around and see
a total of three people sitting patiently at
their tables, no food is being served. The
waitress brings us the (THE) menu and we decide
on something simple ..like a hamburger. How can
you mess that up?
However, before we can
order, the waitress brings us two glasses of
water. One glass has lipstick on it; the other
has a black hair floating in it. The lipstick
doesn’t match my wife’s shade and as you can
tell by my picture, I don’t have black hair or
any other kind as well. We point this out to the
waitress who is now involved in an argument with
a guy with a hair net (he does have black hair)
and he is pointing something out to the five of
us still sitting there. I hear the waitress
say…”Take more water to the lady with the blue
blouse.”
In a few moments the hair
netted black hair bus boy person returns with
two glasses of water, which he takes to a lady
in a red dress that already has water on her
table. She picks up the glasses and brings them
over to us…..we notice that she is smiling and
rolling her eyes as well. We hand our menu to
her so she can read it. She may want something
more than a hamburger. Who knows?
The aforesaid waitress has
not taken an order from any of us and stands in
the doorway and announces that she is sorry for
the delay, but someone called in to make
reservations for a party of eleven and they’re
going to be there in about thirty minutes and
she needs to set up their table. The hair netted
black hair bus boy person is now standing behind
the bar drinking a coke. He makes no attempt to
help her set the table for the party of eleven
or wait on us. His cell phone rings, he turns
his back and starts a long conversation with
someone, laughing and carrying on. He must have
heard a really funny joke, since he stops the
waitress as she is headed towards the five of us
and motions for her to come over, then he
whispers the joke or story to her and she starts
laughing.
Time passes.
I’m thinking this is not
good and tell my wife to get up and let’s find
some other place for lunch. We head for the
front door in full view of the waitress; the
hair netted black hair bus boy person, and some
other person with an apron on, who I presume is
the cook. They make no attempt to speak to us or
ask what is wrong. As we are leaving we hear the
hair netted black hair bus boy person telling
the joke to the now present cook.
The lady in the red dress
has already made it to the door and holds it
open for us
“Life is too short for
nonsense like this”, she says.
I nod in agreement and
notice the other table has made their move to
the door as we are driving out of the lot.
I’m certain the incoming
party of eleven will get the full attention of
the entire wait staff since there isn’t anyone
left to serve. I’ll scratch this place off my
list and will wait until the joint gets torn
down and rebuilt before I’ll chance going back.
No fool me.
The lady was right….“Life
is too short for nonsense like this”,
So, is the lunch hour.
