In order to clear up any future
confusion, let's take a moment and let me explain who I am and why I
write these columns each and every week. First off, I was born at a
very early age. I arrived in this world with very little and still
have most of it. It The big war (WWII) was going on and according to
my parents, names were being rationed out. My Mom was kind of slow
and couldn't run very fast. I guess by the time she got down to the
Federal Bureau of Names, all of the Johns, Jims, and Davids were
gone. That was her story and she stuck with it.
So, according to what I've been told…she just settled on two names
that were the same, but weren't. As in Peary Perry. As you can
imagine, I've heard every kind of comment that can be made on this
matter since I was born. "Peary Perry…quite contrary…." and so on
and so on. Leaving a message for someone on the phone requires me to
maintain a certain sense of patience. I've been getting comments all
of my life, but this is the first time these people have ever heard
a name like this. Some people (seems to be more and more) just hang
up because they think I'm kidding them or something. I have
contemplated using an alias, but then it kinds of defeats the
purpose, doesn't it? The really weird thing about my name has
occurred in the last few years since voice mail became so popular.
I’ll leave a message for someone and get a return call from him or
her asking to speak with ‘Craig’. Now, I can see how they might
think I said, Jerry, Larry or Terry, but Craig?
The most original one I ever heard was from some lady on the phone
who started to say something and then stopped in mid sentence…”You
know I'll bet you've heard just about every comment there is and I
don't think I have anything original to say…" That was unique. I
won't bore you with the details of my youth, but just let it be
sufficient to say that I had a good time. Once I was out of high
school, I couldn't afford to go to college, or really want to, so
off I went in the Army. Spent 3 years there, came home and became a
cop. Spent 7 years working undercover as a vice squad/ narcotics
officer and then left to go into business for myself. This is where
I've been ever since.
I suppose, I always wanted to write about life in general. I like
people and think that we need to see the bright side of just about
everything. Humor is good for our souls. . Some years ago, a friend
of mine started a newspaper and asked me to write a weekly column
for him. I goofed around and didn't really put out much effort into
what I was supposed to be doing. I ended up in a creative writing
course in a local college. The instructor asked if any of us ever
wrote anything that had been published. Proudly, I raised my hand.
He asked how often…and I told him that I did, whenever I got the
time…. He then asked me "If you have an opportunity to write and you
don't…then why are you in this course?" I didn't have an answer, so
I went back, sat down and have been knocking these out every week
for the past 25 years or so.
I’ve been every thing from a soldier to a cop to a businessman and a
lot of things in between. I wrote a satire column called “Letters
From North America” until the summer of 2010. After over 1300 of
these, I lost my mojo and just could not crank any more out about my
wife, my dogs, my kids or the United States Post Office. What I like
to do now is a column called.. “A Nation Of Fools” which pretty well
describes what I think of our government. I can always find
something to write about on this subject. I’m not partial, I will go
after Democrats, Republicans and all others with equal ferocity.
If you like trivia try my… ‘Bet You Didn’t Know’ effort. I must have
200 trivia books with all kinds of information that I find
interesting but probably no one else will.
In addition to this I keep on trying to finish writing novels and a
book on self help with lessons from my late dog, Buddy. You keep
reading and if I can do something to help you..let me know..